By Jill Hope
As parents, the last thing you ever want to see is your child struggling. Whether they are sick, being teased at school, or just lost out on something they were working hard to achieve, etc., sometimes don’t you just feel powerless to improve things for them?
I experience this in my own life with my child, but also with my clients. It’s this feeling that “stuff out there” is happening TO me, or to my child, and I am powerless to change the circumstances.
Well, I am here to tell you:
You have more power than you think!
Whenever I catch myself “spinning the hamster wheel” so to speak about this thing or that thing happening, I know it is time to change something in me. Because truly, that is all you have the power to change, and guess what? That in itself is enough to change everything.
So, how do you make a change in the midst of the “spinning hamster wheel of life?” Here are 6 tips that can help:
1) Become aware that you are spinning that wheel
You can’t change something unless you are aware of it. You’ll want to start paying attention to when your mind starts going a mile a minute and you realize you are thinking more negative thoughts than positive. The more you pay attention to your thoughts, the more quickly you will notice when they start spinning out of control.
2) Focus on the present – don’t worry about something that hasn’t happened, because chances are, it probably never will
Once you realize your mind is spinning, it is important to bring yourself to the present moment. Often, our negative thoughts are either focused on things that happened in the past, even in the past 5 minutes, or in the future, as in, “what if this happens…”
The thing to remember is that all of your power is in the present moment. When you focus your thoughts on what happened in the past or on what could go wrong in the future, you give those negative ideas more power.
Put yourself right where you are. Are things in this moment as bad as you think, or are you worrying about what might happen at some point in the future?
When you take the time to stop the past and future thoughts, you will most likely realize that in the present moment things are not as bad as you are making them out to be. Once you open yourself up to the present moment, you then open yourself up to receive inspired solutions to address your challenge.
3) Know that you are your own center, meaning that everything that occurs in your circumstances occurs in response to you.
This is probably the most important tip in terms of accessing your power. I’ve said this before, but like attracts like. What you think about, you bring about. If you continue worrying about what could happen, or dwell on what did happen, you are making it more likely that similar situations will recur.
Your true power is in realizing that when you change the way you think, you change everything in your circumstances. Everything reacts to you moment by moment. This is how we can explain miracles. I’ve seen it over and over both in my life and in my clients’ lives.
When you realize the truth of this, and change your thinking, you impact everyone and everything around you, and that is when the real, authentic change occurs.
4) Change your perspective to one that is more empowering and positive
There are always 2 ways to look at any situation, be it challenging or wonderful. Here is an example. One child decides to participate on a particular sports team. Now one parent could look at this and think about all of the wonderful opportunities the experience could bring to her child, while another parent might think about how hard it will be for the child to fit all of the practices into her schedule.
Same situation, two different perspectives. One feels hopeful and excited, the other feels stressful.
You get to choose how you perceive any situation. See how you might be able to view your situation in another way. When you do, you will draw more of the positives you see into your experience.
5) It takes just as much energy to feel angry or worried as it does to feel optimistic and hopeful
When you are feeling any kind of negative emotion, the thought of feeling positive seems unreachable. But the truth is, it doesn’t take any more energy to feel positively about a situation as it does to feel negatively.
Does this mean that rather than feeling angry, you can expect to feel happy, just like that? No! But if you follow the previous tips, and change the way you view the situation, you may be able to tone down your anger, which is a step in the right direction. Not only will you feel better, but you may even feel lighter and more energetic. It is from this lighter place that you can start to turn your negative experiences around.
6) It’s never too late to make a change….even a significant change.
Some of us are very well practiced at feeling angry, guilty, and worried, aren’t we?!! But it is never too late to make a positive change! Just be kind to yourself, meaning don’t judge what you’ve done up to now. The past is gone, and you can only start from where you are at.
Acknowledge where you are and create a vision of how you want to feel and think about a situation moving forward. Then commit to taking action by integrating one or more of these tips into your thought patterns the next time you experience a challenge.
Have a question or comment about these tips? Please share it right here!